Acceptance is a key piece to the healing journey when it comes to your relationship with food and your body. When we start looking underneath the food we begin to uncover parts of ourselves we’ve been pushing down for years. These are parts of ourselves we feel we need to hide. They make us feel uncomfortable, anxious, perhaps even angry. We fear others seeing these parts of ourselves because we think they will reject us. We think these parts of us make us unlovable.
These may include things like the worthiness wound, our inner child, anger, parts of us that want validation by others, parts of us who feel ashamed, and more. As we build awareness around all parts of ourselves, we start to notice that we push these parts of us down. We avoid these parts of ourselves and fight them. The thing with transformation is, what we resist, persists.
“What we resist, persists.”
Meaning that we can avoid and push down, but on a deeper level the thing will still create chaos in our lives and manifest in our inner and outer world. When we fight these “darker” parts of us, this is actually the last thing they need. What they really need is to be met with acceptance. When we accept and include these parts of us, we start to heal them.
Let’s look at the part of you that feels unworthy. Feelings of unworthiness are uncomfortable as heck, and somewhere along the way you learned to avoid them. When they arise, you fight them. This happened to me in my journey, as unworthiness and the stories my mind used to tell me about all the things that were wrong with me eventually led to depression. The depression got so bad that one night, after a week long binge eating episode, I became suicidal.
I always feel something greater than me was looking out for me, as I ended up falling asleep that night. The next morning when I woke, I felt fear. I was scared that things had gotten so bad that I had even considered ending my life. After that rock bottom moment I began to immediately suppress those thoughts of my inner critic because I knew where they led. As the years went on I had become pretty good at pushing down the thoughts and avoiding the feelings of unworthiness.
The thing is, this was just a Bandaid, white-knuckle approach because I didn’t know any other way. As I got deeper into my own journey of personal discovery and spiritual development and started spending more time in my body feeling, that unworthiness began to arise again. At first I fought it and tried to avoid it subconsciously. I thought I was doing the work around shifting the core belief that I was unworthy, until one day it hit me that I was fighting this wound. I surrendered and fully accepted this part of myself.
“Acceptance allowed me to move into feeling that pain in my body, without identifying with it in my mind. ”
Acceptance allowed me to move into feeling that pain in my body, without identifying with it in my mind. I won’t say it was fun. It hurt. It was painful. But as I felt into it and let myself weep, something happened. Part of it moved through me and it created space. Space for lightness, peace and expansiveness to enter.
Something else happened. The inner critic calmed down. It was powerful. Think of yourself like a puzzle, a big 1000 piece puzzle. This worthiness wound was only one piece of me. There are 999 other pieces of me. Often what happens when we’re flooded and in the bottle with something, we identify with it. We say, “I am unworthy,” “I am anxious,” “I am angry.” When we see this part of ourselves as just one piece out of 999 we can see it as just that. One part of us. We have so many other parts of us and this allows us to step into observation rather than identification.
The other thing is, the puzzle is not complete or whole without including all pieces. Let that sink in. We need to accept and include all parts of us to be complete or whole. So often we fight these parts we think are unloveable and make us broken, when really all we need to do is accept and include these parts to heal them and find our innate wholeness. We can’t change anything that we don’t accept and include.
“We can’t change anything that we don’t accept and include.”
When we reject parts of us they will continue to show up and sabotage us. My mentor says something along the lines of, “healing happens at the intersection of light and darkness.” When we meet our shadows with love this is what heals the wounds within us. This is true self-love friends. It’s a powerful shift and I’ve experienced the truth of this in my own personal healing journey as well. Where in your life do you need more acceptance?