Real Women Have Bodies, But They Don’t Define Who We Are

Real Women Have Bodies, But They Don't Define Who We Are

I often see memes about who real women are. “Real women have curves” or “Real women are strong” are just a couple of them. Early on in my recovery days I thought these types of memes were awesome. They helped me accept my no longer skinny but curvier and stronger body.  The problem is, they still focus on our physical bodies.  Real women have bodies, but they don’t define who we are.

Yes our bodies are a part of us and its important to feel comfortable in our skin, but our physical bodies aren’t where our worth as human beings should come from. They don’t have anything to do with our deserving of love, respect and dignity as a human being on this planet. These memes are also still defining what we should be as women, which is not okay. Real women come in all shapes and sizes and we get to decide who we are.

There’s another meme out there that says, “Real women are whoever the hell they want to be.” This I can get behind. This is the truth.

“When we stop trying to fit societal norms and learn to be exactly who we are from a place of self love, this is when we can achieve true happiness.”

We’re all different and unique in every which way possible and that’s the beauty of us women. We also have so much more to offer the world than our physical appearance.

I don’t know about you, but personally I don’t want the big thing I am remembered by to be lean abs and toned thighs. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing either but I’d rather be known for the impact I was able to make or how I made others feel. I’d rather be known for my badass cooking skills or my dumbass dance skills (I mean that in the best way possible! :)) I’d rather be known for my heart or my brains.

I also want to live my life to the fullest and not have the shame around what my body looks like hold me back from anything, like it used to. I want to be vulnerable and authentic so I can really feel, whether its pain and sorrow or joy and elation. I’d rather feel every spectrum of emotion than being numb like I was in the past.

I want to do things that scare me and cause discomfort, because I know it means I’ll achieve growth in the long run. I know it means that I’m taking chances and stepping out of the safe zone. Taking risks is where amazing things can happen, whether it means failure and learning something important or success.

So what can you do to stop listening to these external messages that seem to validate your body is what makes you worthy?  How can you begin to shift your focus and embrace your body as it is now?

  • Do a social media purge in which you unfollow anyone or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in your skin.  Be a critical thinker of all external messages that come in and decide whether they feel good in your body or not.  If not, push them out and forget.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others.  It’s simple, you don’t know where others are coming from, what journey they’ve been on or what’s going on inside.  Just don’t compare.
  • Start living now!  Don’t let your less than “perfect” body stop you from doing things you really want to do.  If you want to go waterskiing in a bikini, do it!  If you want to buy a nice red dress, do it!  If you want to take a dance class, do it!  Start living and experiencing life now and you’ll soon realize that your body doesn’t control your happiness and the joy of experience in this life.
  • Do some form of movement practice to get into your body.  This could be yoga, dance or walking in nature.  Find something that resonates for you.  It’s important that we get present and cognizant of what our bodies are feeling.  This doesn’t mean you have to sign up for a class either.  You could just put some calming music on and roll around on the floor, moving your body naturally and intuitively.  Whatever feels good for you!
  • Choose self-love!  Decide to do everything; exercise, eat, sleep, think, live from a place of self-love.  Really be honest with yourself and your choices and stop anything that comes from a place of self-hatred.  If you kill it at spin class because you hate your body, maybe take a break and choose a different form of movement that just feels fun until you can shift your mindset.

I want women to stop living small because of how they feel about their bodies.   I know that women can achieve so much good in this world when they’re not being held back from food and body image issues.  I’ve seen how much my own life has shifted when I broke free from problematic eating, obsessive exercise and body image issues. If you’re ready to break free send me an email and let me know you’re interested in a free discovery session to learn more.

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