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I Help Highly Sensitive Women Change Their Relationship With Food & Their Body, Through Building Emotional Intimacy & Body Sensation Literacy.

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richelle_ludwig

I help women who feel unworthy change their relationship with food & body.
Somatic Coaching
Parts Work
Weight Neutral
Trauma Informed
🌌She/Her

At our core as humans, we long to belong and we al

At our core as humans, we long to belong and we also learn to fear the intimacy required for belonging.

Swipe for more. 👆🏼

I think of the ways we're conditioned with the mor

I think of the ways we're conditioned with the morality of good and bad, and how it contributes to the disregard and repression of the shadow. Trying to be good becomes tied to our survival and I've felt this deeply in my own body.

🌓 I've mistaken that desire to be seen as good, as my own integrity at times.

🌓 I've become righteous in my attempts to appear good.

🌓 Goodness has led me to position myself above others.

🌓 The pursuit of goodness, it has led me to self-abandon more times than I can count.

🌓 Goodness has led to me performing.

🌓 The pull towards goodness, has left me in a hypervigilant mess of uncertainty.

🌓 Goodness has contributed to me trying to fit in, rather than settling into true belonging.

🌓 Goodness has contributed to my hyper-independence at times.

🌓 Goodness has pushed me into hiding.

🌓 Goodness has taken joy and pleasure from my life.

🌓 Goodness has kept me in a state of self-protection, rather than self-expression.

🌓 Goodness feeds my worthiness wound, giving fuel to the not enoughness.

🌓 Goodness has kept me operating from fear.

🌓 Goodness embezzles my creativity.

🌓 Goodness takes me away from myself.

That's why I'll continue to practice choosing wholeness over goodness.

Good and bad.

No longer labeling it as such.

It all just is, and it gets to be here too.

Many of my clients start working with me because t

Many of my clients start working with me because they are ready to try something different and want to stop fighting food and their body. And, often there's a part of them that secretly hopes this work will help them gain more "control" over food so they can finally lose weight and become "thin." It often comes out in later sessions and I welcome this part of them without judgement.

They are often also experiencing shame about the fact that a part of them is clinging to weight loss. When we get curious together about this part of themselves that wants to lose weight, we always discover there's more to it than the superficial piece they're feeling shame about. They often develop a protector that judges this desire to be thin because in society's fight against diet culture, we've pendulum swung.

What we find when we get curious is that there's often a connection to a deep desire to be loved by a caregiver. There's a subconscious drive to perform in a way that will fill the void of not recieving the attunement they needed. An attempt to recieve love, in the way they thought they recieved it when they were younger. This is often tied to being thin and behaviours of pursuing weight loss. When there's an understanding of this in the body, suddenly these parts of them don't look so bad and shameful anymore.

There's a deep knowing of how hard these parts of them have been working to help them recieve love, which is about survival at this point. There's an opportunity to change their relationship with these parts of themselves. And this supports them in becoming more Self led when it comes to their relationship with food and their body. And the parts that pursue thinness from a place of trying to recieve love, become an ally letting them know when they need love. Whether that comes from self-love or connection with others.

And then we begin the journey of relearning what love really is. ♥️

I've felt a bit numb over the past week with the n

I've felt a bit numb over the past week with the news of the remains of 215 indigenous children found at an old residential school here in Canada.
The grief finally started to move this weekend.
I realize now I've been distracting myself since I heard the news.
This morning as I lay on my yoga mat, more grief moved through me.
I know a glimpse of this soul wound indigenous people feel.
I learned to reject my own Métis identity.
I learned that it wasn't something to be proud of because of the racist stereotypes about indigenous people.
I felt deep shame.
I realized this morning it's something that will take time to heal and that part of that healing is in the reclaimation.
It's in changing the cycle of erasure, forgetting and assimilation.
Fully shifting from denial and repression to acceptance, love and embracing.
Which has been a slow process.
More and more I feel a longing and a desire to reclaim it.
And less of a questioning of if I'm "allowed" to.
The learnings, the community, the relationships.
I was on the Metis Nation of Alberta website and read, "We, the Métis Nation, are Otipemisiwak- the people who own ourselves."
That brought up more emotion.
The people who own ourselves.
What is it like to own ourselves?
There's a whole culture, including a language called Michif, to learn and reclaim.
Last night I was listening to a recording for a relational walking practice by an indigenous man.
This is something I've been doing intentionally since learning about it in a program I took last year called Inner Activism.
In the recording he talked about relationship denial and the arrogant view that humans are the center and all other forms of life are basically below us.
I remember reading about this in the book, Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer.
I wonder if we truly knew this and embodied relationship with all living beings, if we'd still see the old growth forests continue to be logged in B.C.
I wonder if we'd see the harm capitalism has caused in this sense?
And why, when we know what happened at these residential schools has there not been an effort to investigate all of them?

There's a link in my bio for a petition re: this. 👆🏼

Human psyches are sneaky. I find because we've bee

Human psyches are sneaky. I find because we've been conditioned with right and wrong, good and bad, when we learn something new we can conform on the surface. Yet the deeply rooted beliefs and physiology tied to the beliefs continue to exist and become more insidious. We continue to approach what we're learning with this black and white thinking of good and bad.

Like when I learned that I'm not actually broken and don't need to be fixed. I began learning how to relate to myself differently. Instead of fixing, it was understanding and holding space for. It was acceptance. Yet the part of me that learned I'm broken continues to show up in sneakier ways. More subtle ways, that slip by at times.

And I can find myself trying to fix my experience, rather than exploring how I meet myself in the experience. Or I can find myself trying to fix someone else's experience, rather than practicing deep listening and being in the discomfort with them. It shows me how I can still try to avoid discomfort.

And then I can try to fix that! 😂 I can try to fix the fixing. When what often is most supportive, is not fixing or getting rid of but feeling it. Being in it and not losing my anchor. Growing my capacity to ride the waves, knowing it won't last forever. Noticing what I'm feeling when I want to move towards fixing. Seeing if I can turn towards that. And focusing on it as a practice rather than a destination.

What Happens When We Claim Our Victimhood. I feel

What Happens When We Claim Our Victimhood. I feel like it's taboo to speak about claiming and siding with the part of us in victimhood, as part of the healing process. Our society is quick to reject this part and so we learn to exile it. Change and healing comes from right relationship though and what if it's more about integrating than getting rid of. When we're exiling a part of us, that comes from another part of us that's either critical, worried or afraid. We then end up performing not being in victimhood, while abandoning, this often younger, part of us. And so here we are, still feeling like we're not whole and fully expressed and free, because as long as we continue to reject parts of ourselves we will continue to operate from partial self states rather than wholeness.

I don't believe siding with the victim or claiming this part of means we demand the world then mothers us. That's disempowering. But it gives us the opportunity to learn to develop our own inner parent. It supports us in moving towards inner empowerment. That can't be faked!
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#victimmentality
#victimhood
#victimconsciousness
#exiling
#shadowwork
#partswork
#reparentyourself
#innerchildwork
#innercritic
#protectors
#sidingwiththevictim
#emotionalintimacy
#integration
#healingjourney
#developmentalstagesofhealing
#empowerment
#partialselfstates
#wholeness
#performance
#personalresponsibility
#peoplepleasing
#comebackhometoyourbody
#thejourneyhome
#conditioning
#emotionalintimacy
#taboo
#ownyourvictim
#somaticcoaching
#rightrelationship

Thoughts on the desire to be thin. 👆🏼

Thoughts on the desire to be thin. 👆🏼

Today I experienced the spectrum of my emotions fr

Today I experienced the spectrum of my emotions from deep grief to pure excitement. Feeling heals, but to feel also requires healing.

Swipe for more 👆🏼

Things I'm learning:

🌜 Be in the questions, ra

The messy middle, isn't the middle at all because

The messy middle, isn't the middle at all because the journey is a spiral
We come back to these contractions,
these decents
over and over again
and meet new parts of ourselves

Swipe for more 👆🏼

A Different Perspective On Victim Mentality. Hint:

A Different Perspective On Victim Mentality. Hint: It's not mindset work that will be supportive.
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#victimmentality
#learnedhelplessness
#exile
#protectors
#partswork
#reparentyourself
#innerchildwork
#innercritic
#shame
#mindset
#shadowwork
#subconscious
#attachmenttheory
#attachmentwounds
#attunement
#emotionalsuppression
#spiritualbypassing
#bypassing
#selfabandonment
#conditionedtendencies
#personalresponsibility
#peoplepleasing
#rejection
#emotionalintimacy
#comebackhometoyourbody
#thejourneyhome
#hyperindependence
#belonging
#safety

Sometimes we communicate our "needs" with others,

Sometimes we communicate our "needs" with others, when really they're wants. They're something we can meet ourselves, but want from another. When we communicate them as needs it often feels like a demand and comes from a younger part of ourselves. It might even feel constrictive.

But when we own them as wants, this comes from our adult self. And it can feel more playful, pleasurable and really comes from a place of desire. There's something expansive about that because we stay connected to our power and capacity. Knowing we could meet it ourselves but inviting someone else into that desire.

How do we discern the difference between true needs and wants? Slowing down and spending time with the experience in your body around the need/want. The more we can explore what we need/want from ourselves, the more we might have access to what we want/need with others.

If there's urgency that might be a good sign your attachment stance is activated or a younger part is present. Sometimes there's another need that you need to meet first before you can access the want. When we label our wants as needs, there will often be an attachment to outcome. With needs, we can set boundaries around them to support in getting them met. That still doesn't mean they will, and that comes with a choice for you. With wants, we can request and let the other person be in their sovereign choice to meet us or not.

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This badge represents my pledge to the ethical move in service of a new marketing standard based on transparency, trust, and honesty. Please connect with me if you see me not honouring my pledge.

Land Acknowledgement

I gratefully live and work in Edmonton as a settler (reclaiming my Metis roots), which is located on Treaty 6, the traditional territory and meeting grounds of Metis and First Nations people including Cree, Assiniboine, Salteaux, Niitsitapi (Blackfoot), Nakota Sioux and Chipewyan.

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